Why I Disliked Avengers: Age of Ultron

I still love you, Black Widow. Just... not in this movie.

Alright. So this is a slightly different post than usual in that a) it's going to be a very severe film review, and b) it's going to be very very very very very very very very long.

Here's the thing, though - if you really liked this film, I'm glad to hear it! I really am. But I would also say that you probably don't need to read this. If you're curious as to what I disliked, then that's cool. If you want to talk about it, that's cool too, but I'm not out to prove someone wrong. This is how I felt about the movie, this is why I was mad and disappointed. It doesn't have to be something you're mad or disappointed about too (though I really do want people to think about the shift in characterization of Black Widow if nothing else. It's pretty problematic).

Overall, though, I just did not like this movie, and this review explains that. Also, I tried to keep the context for my explanations solidly in the MCU as opposed to diving too much into the other alternate comic storylines. Context is everything, and while the MCU is its own line that draws from others, it ultimately needs to stand by itself. So, if you're about to tell me that in Ultimate Avengers # 125 Bruce and Natasha totally made out, that really doesn't matter. Most film-goers won't have read that comic in preparation for the movie, so these cinematic incidents need to depend on one another.

Also, it should go without saying, but regardless - SPOILERS AHEAD!!

Okay. Is that enough for disclaimers? I think so. Now here's my very, very long post!

~Anger~~Anger~~Anger~~Anger~~Anger~~Anger~~Anger~~Anger~~Anger~~Anger~~Anger~

In trying to determine how exactly to get across my aggravation and dissatisfaction for the film, I fumbled around for a few ways to make it even make sense. I rant - a lot - and I figured that providing a structure for my rant would probably be the best way to go rather than just letting myself slam off into a bunch of different directions. Therefore: bullet points! 

Let's start with the cinematic stuff I found questionable, just so I can at least claim an attempt at neutral analysis given that later I just get pissed.

• Graphics: Rendering and Composition
• In the opening scene, the special effects are kind of strange. Thor in particular was who I noticed this with, because his flying and landing were the most affected. It just looked wrong, like whoever did the final rendering didn't check to make sure the layers were actually lining up. Because of that (or whatever happened), it doesn't actually look like he's hitting the things he's supposed to be hitting, much less landing on the ground. It was as if to match the camera movement, they forgot that sometimes actual people are stationary. It was very weird, and I also found the same problem in that slow motion shot where all the Avengers are launching at the bad guys (shown below). There's something strange in how everyone is positioned in relation to the ground and where they launched from. Yes, I am indeed arguing physics in a scene featuring a green monster and superhumans, but since the film has yet to acknowledge Black Widow having the serum, she's technically a regular old human, as is Hawkeye. The shot felt awkward, and that kind of awkwardness was a bit of a recurring problem. 

• Ultron's Mouth
• Overall this wasn't a big issue in general, and not actually a bad idea at all since they were trying to make Ultron seem human-ish and more ambivalent as a bad guy. However, I found myself really, really distracted by his mouth because everything else was so metal that I'd just watch to see his teeth appear. Because of that, I kind of noticed another problem:

• Framing of Scenes – Spinning Camera.
• The camera would not stop moving. While yes, that has been a constant trend in recent years, the problem is that with a character like Ultron, the fact that every camera cut would come around his back and he'd have to talk over his shoulder was distracting because I just kept waiting to see his mouth. When I couldn't see it, I noticed that I couldn't see it, and that in turn made me realize how often they did the exact same composition in every scene. When the Avengers were on camera it was often the same – a rotating shot that starts at the back and makes everyone either talk over their shoulders or turn as the camera moved too. It didn't heighten the drama, it was distracting. 
•  In addition, shots were also often overly busy. For example, scenes filmed at Clint's house were overcrowded, and characters would be partially obscured by cabinets or tables or children or entryways or all kinds of strange stuff, and while I know that was an attempt to make a static scene feel more interesting, it felt needlessly cluttered. 

• Cut-Happy Fight Scenes
• One of the things that makes a fight scene feels like it matters is when the hits are strong. Jackie Chan did a discussion of this, where the longer the complete shot on a fight sequence, the stronger it feels because you can see both the set-up and the follow-through of whatever move is being done. In this, we barely saw any moves carried through (save that awkward opening sequence). A lot of it was a blur, and sometimes it felt like not much was happening given the cuts. However, when the scenes did pull out and last longer, there were other issues.

• Avengers Olympics
• Why did everyone spend more time posing than I've ever seen before? I know it was supposed to be dramatic for the end credits when we got to see the weird marble statue, but in the film it was distracting. There was a lot of posturing, and it was just sort of weird and frustrating when mixed in with the awkwardly rendered special effects.

• The Discus Throwing Event
• They also over-utilized the exact same fight moves. Don't get me wrong – I love it when Thor and Cap team up to bang around the American Frisbee, but they did that so many times. I'm aware that there's only so many moves a character can do, but think about the fight scenes in Cap 2 versus these fight scenes. Those felt hard. They felt brutal, and like Cap could probably punch a hole in the damn wall. This felt... skimmy. It was as if everything was just skimming off of the bad guys, and while they were going down, it wasn't particularly hard or carried much impact. Maybe that's because most of the bad guys were robots, but I didn't have this issue in the first Avengers movie, so I think it's more to do specifically with something in this film. It just felt a bit disjointed.

• Wakanda.
• Speaking of disjointed, poor Wakanda. Is this going to be the method of introduction of Black Panther? When T'Challa shows up at Stark's house and demands restitution for an entire city? Because as far as I can tell, Wakanda doesn't exist anymore thanks to Hulk and Iron Man doing barrel rolls through the whole thing. I was fascinated by Iron Man's relief that the partially completed building they destroyed was empty. Of course it's empty, Iron Man. Everyone's dead from that time you dove through twenty seven other populated buildings. What's wrong with you?

• Illogical Character Behavior for Purpose of Advancing Plot (Or Not)
• Alright. This is where I get particularly annoyed. There are quite a few instances where characters do weird things in order to just get the plot going. For instance, when Iron Man finds the secret door, he's smart enough to leave his suit standing sentry at the computer bay, but then why doesn't he bring it with to investigate the secret hanger in the bowls of an enemy base? The answer, eventually, is obvious – if he'd brought it, Scarlet Witch wouldn't have been able to access his head to plant the vision. The problem with this is that Tony Stark is not actually supposed to be an idiot, and so his leaving the suit behind like that felt wrong and obvious when he then got ambushed. It pushed the plot forward, but not only was it not a very satisfying push, but what's does this scene say about Stark? 
• Likewise, the fact that he's carried forward by a vision to create A.I. (which he more than anyone should know the dangers of) felt weird, right alongside his “private” conversations with Banner that they had while walking through their glass-walled lab. Everyone can see you whispering, guys. Good thing the rest of the Avengers are apparently completely oblivious to everything. But why does Banner go along with it? He does a lot of “this is a bad idea” fussing, but then just does whatever. I know that was so they could do the “roll over and show your belly” comment later (I guess?), but it felt very hollow, and I wasn't convinced by any of their reasons for doing anything. Speaking of:
• I never thought I'd even question a decision to make Chris Hemsworth run around shirtless, but I have no idea why Thor's shirtless cave pond scene had to happen.

• Character Development at the Expense of Female Characters
• This is my big one. The female characters in this movie were really, really poorly developed. My boyfriend actually turned to me during one of the Black Widow scenes and asked “What the hell happened to this character?”; that's how awful this was. The character of Hulk was pretty much developed entirely at the expense of Black Widow's reaction to him. I don't even know how to properly explain my frustration with this un-development, so I'm just going to leave some bullet points:
• Black Widow love story with Hulk
  • No. What? No.
• Black Widow bathrobe seduction scene
  • No. Why? No.
• Black Widow emoting at Bruce about the Red Room
  • No.
• Black Widow interacting with children so we can see how soft and feminine she really is
  • No.
• Black Widow bridal carry
  • God damn it, no.
• Black Widow kidnapped
  • Sigh.
• Black Widow locked up until saved by a dude
  • Are you kidding me right now?
• Black Widow “I adore you”.
• Who wrote this?

This final point (on Black Widow - I still rant more later) is the one I really deem most frustrating:

• Black Widow being snarky in place of Black Widow being Black Widow.
• If you compare the character from the first film and Cap 2 to this one, she's practically unrecognizable. It's like the thought was “Well, she needs more motivation – let's make her angst about her past and hook up with the big monster, because that will be symbolic or something, I dunno, idgaf”. There was no development leading up to her thing for Hulk – she was frightened of him, last we knew – and I don't know why she needs a love interest at all. That's not what makes her interesting. I was really fascinated in her character in the first movie, to the point that it made me go out and buy comics, and read into her character, and all that good stuff. I liked her friendship with Clint, her sort of friendship with Stark, and then in Cap 2 I loved how she and Cap developed together. I'm really pleased that the movie ended with him asking her to come develop the new team with him, because that gives me hope that the next film will actually bring her back to character. I have to hope so, because this film's characterization of Natasha was really, really awful. Giving her occasional one-liners doesn't make her Black Widow if then she's relegated into inactivity or a damsel in distress role, controlled by her love of a man and the weakness of her mind and body. That's fucking infuriating, and a disservice to the character. I don't know what anyone was thinking, but given how hard it is for me to really relate to a lot of female characters, I get downright pissed when one is actively taken away from me for no reason whatsoever. 

To continue:

• Maria Hill getting saved by Fury because she apparently can't hit a robot with a gun.
• No. Are you kidding? This is Maria Fucking Hill. Why did this happen?

• Scarlet Witch.
  • Oh, Scarlet Witch. Now some of this can be mirrored in complaints on the part of Quicksilver, who has about four lines and then dies, but Scarlet Witch... ugh. She has zero characterization. I get a bomb dropped on her head and she was buried under rubble, but she also DEVELOPED MUTANT POWERS. Holy crap, that's important! But let's only spend about a minute on that. No big. Instead, let's focus more on:
    • Scarlet Witch crying and being tragic.
      • I mean, I'd probably be crying too, but come on. Scarlet Witch is powerful as fuck, and she figured out how to control her power before she even met the Avengers. Why is she crying in a corner? OH WAIT. It's so the following important things can happen:
    • Scarlet Witch being saved by her brother.
      • Sigh.
    • Scarlet Witch bridal carry
      • GODDAMN IT.
    • Scarlet Witch pep talk from Hawkeye
      • Thanks for making the male character explain to the female character to “man up, little girl”, as my boyfriend put it.
    • Scarlet Witch only being truly proactive because Quicksilver dies.
      • Man, I get it. Considering the only things we know about Scarlet Witch are that a bomb dropped on her and she loves her twin, I can see where they were painted into a corner about figuring out how to make her actually go and kill Ultron. However, that doesn't mean it's good. That means a terrible job was done of making her into a real character. Same with Quicksilver – why is he dead?! Part of me wonders if that has something to do with the negotiation of the characters that Disney did with FOX (FOX gets Quicksilver, Disney gets Scarlet Witch?), but it was disappointing.

Look, the fact is that I could still continue with this. I haven't even talked about Hawkeye's terrible characterization. I don't care that the guy has a family – that's fine. But it's so easy. “He's a family man – of course he fights evil” is a very lazy way to explain this character, especially when he's a fan favorite who has a lot to him. What about his deafness? What about his shitty childhood? The character overcame a lot to be who he is, and this film just sort of ignores it completely.

And look – I get that writing a film script is hard, and that there's only so much time to include various things. But if someone makes the decision to go ahead with these characters, then there needs to be a dedication and integrity to their development that just wasn't there. It wasn't like there was no room in the plot, either. The basic plot progression was simple:

• Avengers fight Hydra to get stick.
• Avengers have stick.
• Two Avengers decide to make top secret peace loving A.I.
• Backfires.
• Kaboom x 50
• We're stronger together.
• New Avengers formed because old Avengers promptly split up, thereby negating being stronger together. Whatever though, because ANTHONY MACKIE.
• The end.

I really wanted to like this movie. I really liked the first Avengers, and Cap 2 felt like the closest progression from that first film and was great too. This one? To be honest, I'm going to just sort of pretend it never happened. I'm good at that – ask me about Doctor Who!! Either way, let's hope the next Captain America fixes some of these issues, and then when the next Avengers movie shows up, we can have fun again.

Anyway, If you read this far, I'm kind of in awe of you. Have a budgie smooch as a thank you.